Phase I: Conversations (still underway)

4 intentional choices emerged from our research of "deeply authentic Servant Leaders" - over and over and over again, these Servant Leaders choose to:

• Love (the Verb) - Agape. Selfless Love. Love of Choice: to will the good of the other as other. Choose to want & act on what's good for those you serve both now and in the future... a lot harder than liking them or being nice, feeds the rest of the choices. Improving at this one is a lot like joining a gym with a world-class trainer. You will make progress, but it will demand a struggle. Radical affect on engagement, ownership, accountability, innovation, trust, turnover, life!
• Serve Needs, not Wants - Sometimes I need a reality check, even though I may not want a reality check! Sometimes I need encouragement, guidance, feedback, help, to be allowed to own a decision and possible fall flat on my face. This choice takes a serious combination of wisdom and will... the wisdom to be aware of unique individual needs and the will to take effective action to truly serve that need. Wisdom and Will! People don't tell us what they really need. Quite often they don't know. So how do Servant Leaders figure this out?
• Serve a Cause that's Bigger than You - "It's not about you" might be the the most repeated phrase from all of our Servant Leader conversations. One leader put it this way: "I'm in it for the outcome, not the income!" She works with at risk youth across the country, developing them into Servant Leaders. Hunger and Humility. Hunger to do something great. Hunger to deliver. Humility to say "we're not there yet" or "I don't have all the answers."
• Pay a Deeply Personal Price - This price shows up in many ways, some obvious and some rather subtle. For example, there is a price to letting someone else struggle - especially when it's one of your own children, a close friend, or someone you hired. The price of difficult conversations, of helping someone surpass your results, of allowing another to sacrifice when you can see their pain.

Humility and courage also saturated our "Servant Leader" conversations, but we think these fit into the 4 choices above.

How do you become a better Servant Leader? Not a single person we spoke with thought that they had arrived. One of the main motivators for our research: can Servant Leadership be intentionally nurtured, developed, infused into a community / family / business / school / culture? If so, how do we do it? What if we could help parents with this? What if we could double the number of Servant Leaders in your company or community? What kind of ripple effect could this create?

Among the most powerful lessons learned from these Servant Leaders: we all need good people to do life with. Over 75% of our conversations mentioned the profound influence of a parent or grandparent. The guidance and example of other Servant Leaders is transformational. We also need to be nourished, inspired and challenged. We need hard things. Feedback. Reality checks.

Struggle is not an option. It's a biological requirement.

Virtually every Servant Leader we've interviewed pointed out 2 factors in their growth: People and Process. They had at least one person who raised the bar. They had people who made them what I call positively uncomfortable. And they had a process for taking their Servant Leadership to the next level. That process is very similar to hitting the weight room, training for a marathon, learning a language or improving your golf game. It had a rhythm to it. A routine. With a feedback loop to measure progress (or lack-there-of).

How do Servant Leaders become Servant Leaders?

• People who make them Positively Uncomfortable - A parent, friend, colleague or group that raises the bar and has those uncomfortable conversations.
• Process: Rhythm & Routine - A process that works, works for them, and that they work. Most Servant Leaders described a very simple routine that helped them stay on track, get back on track or build momentum.

If we launch this phase II, I want your input. It's a work-in-progress, but we are considering a small initial cohort of 10 to 15 leaders who are hungry, humble and honest. This cohort will be made up of people committed to improving at the 4 choices outlined above and the process will be akin to training for a marathon. It won't be easy, but it will be transformational. That cohort will help us improve and learn from the process.

I have great appreciation for your help so far and hope you will take just a few minutes to share your thoughts via the link.