The Moments that Matter

Work–life balance is one of those phrases that reliably makes me pause. During interviews, I always ask candidates a straightforward question: What matters most to you when choosing where to work? This question is designed to help me learn more about the candidate. This is like when you ask someone, if you can be any animal, what animal would you choose?

When the answer is “work–life balance,” I’m not skeptical. Often people choose skepticism, I am curious. The phrase has become the mantra of an entire generation. Boomers tend to roll their eyes and Millennials wear it proudly as a badge of honor. For the record, and I tell my team this all the time, I land squarely in the Xennial camp. Xennials are objectively the best generation, though that distinction has little relevance here. Now where was I? Ah yes, work-life balance.

Looking back, I’ve realized that I’ve always valued work–life balance, even long before it had a name or made its way into interview conversations. However, I do not value it in the most traditional sense. Some use the term to mean, I only want to work from 9am-5pm, Monday through Friday. I do not want to work nights, weekends or anytime other than my 40 hours per week. I, however, think of the concept in different terms.

I have always prioritized my family. My daughter is now 17. I vividly remember her ballet recitals at age 6, her chorus concerts in elementary and middle school and the 7 years we spent traveling around the country chasing her dream as a competitive cheerleader. I instinctively prioritized the moments that mattered. Those were non-negotiable. When I was asked in interviews, tell me what is important to you. I would always tell the prospective employer, being there for the important moments in life is important.

As my career progressed, so did my responsibilities. For more than a decade, I’ve served in non-profit senior living communities. These roles are always demanding. They require long hours, late nights, early mornings, and a level of availability best described as “always on.” Honestly, I do not remember a time in my career that was not 24/7. These positions require deep commitment and unwavering attention, and in that environment, it’s remarkably easy to let work consume more than its fair share. That reality, more than any buzzword, is what gives true meaning to the conversation around work-life balance.

Now as I sit in the CEO seat, I wonder what work-life balance means to others. If, during an interview, someone brings up work-life balance, I do not automatically end their candidacy. If a team member comes to my office and says, I need better work-life balance, I do not shut them down. I, as I always do, ask many questions. I say, “Tell me what that looks like to you.”

Work-life balance is a buzzword, but to me it means I will be at every chorus event, cheerleading competition and send–off to a date. Now that my daughter is 17, those dates are happening more often. I won’t compromise attending those events, but I also won’t compromise my work. For me, that last sentence is the key.

Too often, “work–life balance” is used as a reason to cut corners, miss deadlines, leave work unfinished or lower expectations. That approach has never worked for me. I believe the reason I’ve been able to grow in my career is because my work has never suffered. If I had a deadline the morning of my daughter’s cheer competition, I found a way to meet it, even if that meant working through the night. I’ve always believed that honoring personal priorities should never come at the expense of delivering on professional responsibilities.

At its core, work–life balance isn’t about choosing one over the other. It’s about making sure neither one suffers. It requires being clear about what matters, taking responsibility for your commitments and being intentional with your time. I’ve learned that showing up for the moments that matter most in life doesn’t mean lowering expectations at work. If anything, it means holding myself to a higher standard.

Family moments are non-negotiable. So is getting the job done. It’s not always easy but it’s honest. Real balance doesn’t come from working fewer hours or lowering expectations; it comes from doing your work well, being fully present where you are and understanding that excellence takes effort, sacrifice, and purpose.

~ Donald Lilly, CEO

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