What I Would Change
Why “I wouldn’t change a thing” is a lie.
We’ve all heard it: “I wouldn’t change a thing.” It’s the go-to answer whenever someone is interviewed, or reflects on their career or life choices. That answer is easy, neat, and tidy—and entirely untrue.
Because let’s be honest, of course we’d change things. Maybe not the results, but definitely the ways we got there. And that’s not regret talking, that’s leadership and growth.
When I was 23 years old, and fresh out of college, I landed my first big leadership role as a local TV news executive producer. My evening news anchors had been on-air longer than I’d been alive, and my reporters were young, ambitious, and sometimes a little too eager for their own good.
I was leading before I fully knew how, and figuring it out on live television to boot!
Every day was a sprint of breaking news and high stakes editorial decisions that impacted real people. It was thrilling, exhausting, and way too much responsibility for someone who still needed a mentor more than a title.
At that age, I thought leadership meant being confident, decisive, and never showing doubt. I was wrong.
What I didn’t realize then was that leadership has a lot less to do with being the loudest or most confident voice in the room, and a lot more to do with listening, learning, and letting others be seen and heard.
Fast-forward through a crazy career path, to just a few weeks ago. I was speaking to a group of emerging leaders in aging services. They were a group of smart, enthusiastic, and motivated professionals. The conversation sounded familiar and had all the buzz words such as servant leadership, empathy, and vulnerability.
I’m not saying these aren’t important concepts, but I couldn’t help smiling. Because those words take on a whole new meaning once you’ve lived through the messy reality of leading an organization, and what people don’t see—the long sleepless nights, the public mistakes (in my case, sometimes on live television), and the lessons learned only after falling flat on your face.
So, here’s what I’ve come to believe. The best leaders are the ones who’ve earned their scars in full view, and who aren’t afraid to admit where they went wrong. We grow when we recognize that change isn’t a flaw in our story, it’s the point of our story.
So, no, I won’t say “I wouldn’t change a thing” the next time I’m asked that question. I can think of so many things I’d change.
But I’m grateful for every stumble, every crisis, and every awkward conversation that taught me something real about leading people. Because real leadership isn’t about perfection.
It’s about showing up, growing up, and owning how you got here, and being ready to do a few things differently the next time around.
~ Nicole Pretre, MS, CPG
President & CEO, Cedar Community
What does this mean for you?
- Are you hiding your mistakes instead of learning from them?
- Do you think leadership means never showing doubt?
- What is one thing you would do differently next time around?
Key Takeaway: Real leadership isn't about perfection. It’s about showing up, growing up, and owning how you got here.
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